Thank Christ for that. 11pm and the window has closed. Everybody take a breath, we made it. 31 days of bullshit, Twitter experts that make Trump look like he talks sense, people (and players) whining about x, y and z… but ultimately, not much actually happening.

Let’s look at our World Cup troupe. Mac Allister showing class and respect for where he is. “Brighton are the club that helped make me a better player”. Not the words of Tommy Elphick, but our World Champion, Alexis. If any player had a right to be a prima donna it was Alexis, but he conducted himself with dignity and respect, acknowledging that he’s in a good place with no great rush to leap over that fence to pastures new.

Enter Trossard stage left. What a twat. He had everything going for him before his short break to Qatar. Form, class, adoring fans. But there’s always someone who struggles when a new boss comes in. Apparently Trossard was the odd one out. Coming back from an early exit with Belgium, having played a bit-part role in an underperforming team. Some might say that was a great rehearsal for a move to a ‘big six’ club.

Anyway, agent says ‘throw a strop’, he does. De Zerbi hits back telling the public Trossard wasn’t putting effort in and that he needs space. Agent responds with a laughable ‘statement’, and suitable outcome for everyone turns up with Arsenal giving us £27 million to remove a bad attitude from our bench.

A couple of days later, Moises has new representation and they’re looking for a quick buck.

The ‘I’m only focussed on Brighton’ statement is replaced with one announcing his sale for a record fee. The only problem being nobody mentioned this to Tony Bloom. His agent had obviously noted Trossard’s playbook and thought… that should work. Well, breaking news, we wanted to keep Moises, so his agent was firmly put in the gutter where they belong.

It’s not long ago we were forcing players to move on for £700,000, just so the club could survive. This window we’ve rejected bids of more than 100 times that amount, just so the club can have a better shot at qualifying for Europe.

Arsenal thought they could bully us. Moises’ agent thought they could bully us. The truth is, we only ever do things on our terms.

Let’s put it bluntly, like most Albion transfers out, Leo’s replacement was already starring in the first team, with eye-catching performances, pace, and, most importantly, goals. The club could se the future, and that future was King Kaoru.

I’ve noticed more in-the-know plastic sofa social media commentators than usual this window. The ‘£3.5k per week’ myth (because even if it was true, who could even think about living on a measly £182,000 a year). The ‘you only paid £4 million pounds, so you shouldn’t be too greedy and ask for more than £60 million’ narrative. Or, the ‘you should just let a player go because he’s going to be unhappy and won’t play well’ opinion.

My response? Fuck off.

These so-called fans clearly don’t remember the likes of Lewis Dunk trying to force a move to **checks notes** Fulham, or Dale Stephens and Glenn Murray kicking off about moving back up North. In all these cases the players were told they were too important, and they all then knuckled down. They weren’t sold in the following transfer windows either, although Moises possibly will (unless he fancies a shot at Euro glory with us).

We’ve earned the right to do transfers on our terms, and if that means laughing off a £75m bid on deadline day, that’s what we will do. The problem with these ‘big’ clubs and supporters is they need instant gratification. To quote Come Dine With Me… ‘you really do live a sad life, Jane’.

That’s enough about outgoings. What about the tumbleweed across the window for players coming in?

One of the most exciting parts early in the window was the Tim Weah to Brighton Instagram profile. Hundreds of continuous days of posting came to fruition after a year, when we got linked to the player by some random insider on social media. Obviously Tim didn’t sign, and the account owner is back to falling asleep in a pool of their own tears.

In real transfers, Facundo Buonanotte joined us. Not only was it predictable for the Albion to sign 1, a South American, 2, a player with a great sounding name, and 3, a midfielder, we also watched him leave the field on a spinal board when playing for Argentina’s Under 21s within a week of him stepping foot on the turf at Lancing.

Buonanotte was joined by Yasin Ayari, a big money buy at £3.5 million. The young Swedish midfielder is the latest in a long line of what is fast becoming known as a ‘typical Brighton signing’. Someone that’s cheap, young, and full of potential. Time will tell if he breaks into the squad, but his YouTube clips look promising (but then so did Chuba Akpom’s).

From then on it was all rumours, fans getting upset that we haven’t signed 23 strikers, despite being the highest scorers in Europe throughout January, and Fabrizio Romano (twat) continuing to piss off Albion fans everywhere by using the London Blues hashtag when talking about Albion players.

Last night though was arguably peak Albion. Nearly 1,000 people tracking a random private jet from Portugal to London in the middle of the night, convinced it was transporting a new star striker to the South Coast. Turns out it was just some random swanky jet flying into Luton.

So, Deadline Day. A day that promises so much, yet for the Albion is very rarely busy. We saw Arsenal fans come to the realisation that after weeks of us saying Caicedo wasn’t for sale, he really wasn’t for sale, and that was pretty much the highlight. Right at the death we’ve said farewell to a stalwart of the last 6.5 years in Shane Duffy, we’ll always have those promotion memories.

Yes, we had the usual moans that we weren’t backing the manager, but we have a model, and that model is doing us proud at the moment.

Long may the relatively dull nature of our transfer windows continue. Now, let’s continue that charge toward Europe. Buona notte and sweet dreams to you all.

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